Originally uploaded by RGP

I've been rather hard on myself lately, trying not to think things like "I suck" but as you know, being a human being, this is no small feat.  So I am reminding myself of the little moments that made me feel...kinda good about myself.

Back in college I was forced to take acting classes in order to finish out my major, Arts Management. A secret part of me loved this but the rest of me absolutely hated the idea.  In one particular class, we were told to get into groups, sit in a circle and tell the others what we thought about them. Lucky me, I got stuck in a group with a girl I absolutely hated. I mean hated. Top to bottom. Left to right. Big boobs and all, I couldn't stand her.  We had this ridiculous fight about a guy when she first arrived at the school as a freshman.  I didn't know her at all except that she was trying to steal my man of the week.

So here I am, sitting on the floor of the theater staring at a group of my peers... and this girl,  and we're told to tell everyone in the pow-wow what we thought of them when we met.

Of course my brain said: "Hmm, let me think, when I first saw you I wanted to rip out your little blond hairs one by one, kick you in the boobs and throw a football at your button nose just like in the Brady Bunch. Was that Jan or Marsha? Doesn't matter 'cause you look like Cindy."

But I didn't get to go first, she did.

And what did she say about me?

"You intimidate me."

I would have fallen over from the impact if I wasn't already sitting on the floor. 

At first I was pissed. How dare you call out my badassedness in front of all these...peers.  Then I chewed on it for a second and realized, I loved it. It was the best thing anyone could have ever said.  Beneath this hard exterior of mine, I'm just as much of a wuss as everyone else and of course would love a little validation. Well, I got it.  I mean, she went ahead and juiced up my ego with about a gallon of Red Bull.

I quietly rejoiced, checked my face to make sure I wasn't showing it on the outside and then made up a little dance that I would do later in the privacy of my dorm room.

Then, naturally, reality came rushing back.  Now I have to say something nice about her.

Sorry to disappoint, but honestly, I don't remember what I said that day. I do know this, we eventually became friends. I know, big surprise, I made up with the girl who (I was convinced) pretty much worshiped the ground I walked on cause, y'know, I'd intimidated her into submission.

Oh, and she eventually came out of the closet which was a double victory because that guy I was seeing earlier in this story? I got rid of him and now she would have nothing to do with him either. Oh the hilarity.

How about you? Ever become friends with someone you hated at first? Or more specifically, because they made you feel like a badass?