Where I Am, Creatively Speaking

Originally uploaded by RGP

So it's no mystery, I have been in a sort of lull lately. It's not one of those lulls where I drop everything and say screw it, no no. It's more one of those "what is the next effing step?!!?" lulls.

Okay, "lull" just lost it's meaning.

I've reached a sort of cross roads. I need to dive head first into my writing, drawing, photography, etc and really commit to this whole project or consider my options with a full time job...or just keep doing what I'm doing.

What's my goal? To be creative full time. This is for sure. What's holding me back? The non-creative side of my brain. The side that says "Yes, but how will you pay the bills sweetie?". I hate that side. I have been slowly poisoning it with positive thoughts and pencil drawings, but the process is slow and excruciating. Also, I'm pretty sure anyone with a strong creative side knows that pushing positive thoughts on yourself is like trying to convince a parent that heroin is good for their baby.

I think that bizarre comparison just came from my "creative" side.

I am particularly lucky. After next week I will have almost 2 entire months to throw myself into my craft, whatever that is, full time. I have saved enough for the rent, now I just hope I saved just enough sanity (or is it insanity?) to actually create and come up with some good ideas.

Here's hoping!