I really thought this one was going to be around for awhile. I relaxed for the first time in my 15 year career. I even kinda thought there’d be no more suffering through the freelance grind anymore.
There are two sides of me warring. The side that wants to curl up, be angry, eat pizza, and drink too much wine. Then the side that wants to rally, be strong and carry on. Find the good in the terrifying.
Oh boy now I have time to figure out what i want to …
Oh my god I am so tired of hearing myself say anything like that.
This isn’t one of those sudden, total bologna, realization moments. It’s a marker for where I am right now. Hopefully I can look back (relatively soon) and say, “See? That wasn’t so bad.” In the meantime, who knows?
Have you had any sudden and scary changes in your life?
I see a lot of creative’s showing off their beautiful, organized work-spaces and think two things: “Bullshit!” and “If that’s not bullshit… HOW!?”
Don’t get me wrong, I love a tidy space from time to time. A nice clean slate. Even a little re-organizing. But I’d be a liar if I said it looked like that even 10% of the time. I’m absolutely OK with that because that’s how I function, but maybe if I cleaned up a little and took a closer look at what made me… “me”… that week, I’d get a little room to breath and some inspiration.
So what does every good blogger do when faced with a thought like this? Why, hold themselves publicly accountable of course!
So here is my space in all it’s (untouched for the photos) glory just 10 minutes before I sat down to write this post. And before I was allowed to type a single word, I had to pick up the mess.
Sunflowers are my favorite… and ATs surprised me with these and a party for my birthday that’s coming up on Wednesday. I the luckiest gal around… and not just because I had the most badass birthday cake…
What’s your favorite birthday memory?
OK, now that we wasted a couple minutes together, it’s time to get down to business.
I have changed so much of my life in the last 2 months (I temporarily lived alone while ATs was away) that I can hardly keep it all straight. A crazy dedicated blogger would have taken notes and made posts with charts and images following my progress, etc, yada yada yada.
The difference is that I was so focused on learning and finding what would work for me (exercise routines, recipes, photography projects, and all around my work schedule) that I didn’t want to halt the forward movement by stopping to write it down.
What I love about blogging & creating is that I LOVE to do those things which also makes me terrified to turn them into a humdrum routine. Never mind the daily distractions that keep me from doing my thing…
Why haven’t I finished any projects today? Because youtube. Because running. Because food. Because Arrested Development. Because bored. Because uninspired.
What’s my point?
2013 has been shaping up to be the year of self-inspection & growth (it’s probably no coincidence that I’m turning 35 in a few weeks). Since April and May were so focused on physical change, I’m going to push myself to work on the mental side of life during June, and start by trying to figure out SOME kind of routine.
To help get me started, I searched the intertubes for some helpful blog posts:
I’m reworking my main photography site (more soon), excercising daily, working, and trying to enjoy my time off by seeing friends and doing some culture catch up (like watching TV.)
I think I need to start setting my alarm so I’m not so tempted to sleep in…
My friend’s cat, Circus. Because I’ve got my paws in so many projects right now, it’s all I can do at the moment!
I’m still putting up shots regularly over at Out the Bus Window. Check it out if you haven’t already! And follow if you’ve got a tumblr, wouldja?
I’ve been cooking at home a lot more and using fresh ingredients. I even posted a quick & easy recipe for those kale chips you see up there!
LOT’S of running has been happening.. and walking. I try and walk to work every day, and sometimes home. I even ran AFTER work on Sunday. Mind. Blown
And I’ve been meaning to take a class lately, so in interest of my recent push into healthy town, I signed up for a silks class. I can’t even describe how much fun it was! But damn were my arms tired. Yow!
So what are you up to these days? Anything new?