Results tagged “boyfriend”

Remember how I promised you funny stories once the fella returned because he's a man and he's ridiculous?  Yeah well....

So the phone rang at 3am the other morning (wrong number).  Not really that big of a deal unless you're me of course.  You see, this was happening towards the beginning of the summer...a lot...so I reverted to turning the damn thing off. Just off. Forever.  It's the fella's land line anyway, I never use it.  Who uses land lines?

Upon his return (you know, like right when he walked in the door and I was saying things like "don't put that there" and "this is how we do things now"), I asked that he turn the machine back down before bed every night. Naturally with all the tasks I laid before him, it slipped his mind.  I can tell you with all confidence now that he will never forget again.

In my surprised, half awake and dreamlike state, I literally sprang out of bed and pretty much floated to the answering machine.  Except floated sounds graceful.  It was not graceful. 

I pressed off. Off. OFF. OOOOFFFFFF!!!  The damn thing would not respond to my finger mashing.  I press that button all the time. Why is it not shutting off?  Am I using the wrong finger?  Is this even the answering machine or am I trying to turn off the cat? 

Volume. Down....down...down...down...down.. DOWN!! WHAT THE &$#&%!!!!

There was clearly only one way to remedy this situation.  Rip the phone off the wall and throw place it on the floor.

And there it lay on the floor with my obnoxious answering machine voice still yappin'.  I jumped back in bed and barked at the fella that it was his fault for not turning it down and "You go fix it. FIX IT!"

Of course from there it just got laughable.  Laughable now, not then.  He couldn't get the damn thing to shutup either and managed to press the hang up button on the machine which left us with the blaring dial tone and then the "Please hang up and dial again". 

This is when I started yelling something about JUST RIP IT OUT OF THE WALL!  He did not comply (cooler heads prevail) and eventually, some magical how, the damn thing shut off. 

So there we were with a hole in the wall and a phone on the floor and me left to deal with the fact that I am a raving lunatic. 

But he's the ridiculous one.